Why is it called Earphone?
Earphone has had a few names. TBD Earphone, Vibromatic 4000, Clara, Phoenix, and some less printable names. We call it Earphone because that's exactly what it is.
What is a "damperless tuned horn"?
We integrate a tuned horn during the SLA printing process that connects the tip to the armature spouts. We adjust the response by changing the curvature and size of the horn. This allows us to quickly and consistently produce high quality sound. Channel matching and cost to produce blows traditional damped-tube construction methods out of the water. The result is quality and performance at a fraction of the price.
When will there be a custom-fit version?
There won't ever be a custom-fit Earphone. We can't install the damperless tuned horn without it being crazy expensive. The time spent on handling impressions is obscene. The cost to manufacture the shells is similarly obscene. The ergonomics are so good on Earphone that it just doesn't make any sense.
Does the cable have a mic?
No, but since it is a replaceable 2-pin cable you can replace it with whatever aftermarket cable you want. Go nuts. Braided 10 AWG 8N SPC OCC cryo litz? Linum Music? Mic cable? The world is your oyster.
What's your return policy?
We offer 30 day returns with a 15% restocking fee. We do this because we're such a small operation, returns can really screw up our cash flow. At the same time, we understand that you need to audition our Earphone on your equipment. We think $60 to audition our Earphone for 30 days is a fair compromise.
What's your warranty?
Simple. If something fails within two years, we fix it for free. If you break something basic, it's $50. If you smash it, it's 50% of retail price. Customer pays all shipping fees.
What is your lead time?
We'll be totally honest. Our lead times have always sucked. It's time to fix that. We strive for a one week lead (unless otherwise noted on the product page). If we take four extra weeks to mail your product, we will issue a 15% refund and ship it as soon as possible. Make sure you check the product page for lead times. If we ship it in 24 hours you can pat us on the head for being a good boye.
Why aren't there any options?
A wise man once said, "you can have any color you want, as long as it's black." This man was the father of manufacturing efficiency.
What happened to your legacy Lifetime Upgrades policy?
We got rid of it. From here on out, we are only going to have one Earphone for sale. If we develop something better, we'll just replace our current offering. Lifetime upgrades created a model that rewarded us for making products that didn't add a lot of value to the customer. It seemed like a good idea, but it actually wasn't.
That's not fair for your early customers.
It is fair, because if you purchased a Sera or Aria, you can still upgrade. We'll take care of you. Just know that you can only upgrade within the old product lineup (Sera, Aria, Maya).
Do you still have a Ramen policy?
We have slightly adjusted our Ramen policy. As of October 1st, 2017, if you buy an earphone and shill it online, we may elect to send you one (1) package of Maruchan chicken ramen. Any other ramen provided by Vibro Labs is free of charge and no services or compensation are expected to be rendered by the recipient.
What makes your products special?
We determined that the market is lacking efficiency. We aim for efficiency in all areas: performance, ergonomics, design, manufacturing, and distribution. If you want to spend money on sound and comfort, and nothing else, you're in the right place.
What happened to your exotic woods?
Exotic wood faceplates are now ubiquitous in the market and provide no real performance. They are inefficiencies and don't provide any competetive advantage.
Does nature still guide your pursuit for aesthetic perfection?
Not really. The only thing that guides us now is efficiency and performance. Are you starting to see a trend?
Why did you get rid of Maya?
We'll really miss Maya. It was a great earphone, and performed very well. But it was very expensive to produce. Our new offering has comparable performance at almost half the price. We could have priced Earphone higher, but we're sick of this audiophile price gouging. Get real.
Why is your site so simple?
Honestly, we used to spend a lot of time designing new site features instead of making earphones. Turns out that's a shitty business move, so we quit doing that.
What happened to Live Chat?
Well, we have really strange work hours, so Live Chat became a really annoying way to email us. Just email us, it's way easier for everyone.
Where is your gallery/reviews/etc?
Listen, we just did a complete relaunch. We literally destroyed our entire product lineup to make way for greatness. We're like a beautiful phoenix rising from the ashes of some cataclysmic volcano explosion. So, all of our previous product porn is gone. Kaboom.
I don't appreciate your language.
We've seen your Reddit history. There's nothing new here.
How do you grow a magnificent beard?
It's simple, really. Wash your face with hot water after every meal or form of physical exertion. Trim only non-conforming beard hairs. In time you will have a magnificent, clean, beard.
How do you make a lobster roll?
Let me tell you! Go to a restraunt and buy 12 lobster bodies for $3 total. Bodies are what's left over after they pick out the big chunks for their $27 lobster rolls that no-one can afford. Then you rip off the legs and use a rolling pin to squeeze the meat out like toothpaste. Then you ask your lady to pick the meat out of the chest. (That's the hard part, and takes the most skill.) Quick sautee with butter and add it to a toasted frankfurter roll. That's $3 and one hour of work for three lobster rolls. You're done, son!
How do I pick and eat fiddleheads?
Wait until the first fiddlehead appears in the local Hannaford's. That weekend, find a river with marshy islands. Canoe to the island and pick fiddleheads that have a 3-6" stalk. It's recommended to bring a few Homer buckets. You're also going to need 25% DEET or higher bug spray. Make sure to keep your pickin' hands clean of the stuff. The stem cross-section must be blatantly U-shaped, otherwise it is poisonous. Wash off the dry leaves and boil for 10 minutes. Then sautee. Serve on linguini with garlic-butter sauce and capers.
How do I finish exotic wood?
There are three finishes worth mastering. Wipe-on poly, nitrocellulose lacquer, and dewaxed shellac. Pre-cat lacquer sanding sealer is also great.
What's your take on Manual J?
Manual J is a great tool for sizing residential HVAC systems, but I think it's the wrong tool for designing a home. A simple degree-day load calculator in Excel is great for basic design. You can then drill down with Passivhaus tools as necessary.
Do I need a custom radiator to swap an EG33 into a GC Impreza?
No. The SAAB 900 radiator works just fine. Just use a Volvo 740 expansion tank with an OEM high pressure bleed cap.
What's the best color temp for HID projectors?
I always recommend 4000k when available. Anything lower is yellow and should be used in inclement weather such as in a fog light. Anything higher is dazzling. Blue light will ruin the vision of oncoming traffic.
What is the cheatcode to life?
Konami code, ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A